As I write this I'm sat eating a massive Galaxy Easter egg in my pyjamas and I am struggling to write. You might have noticed I've been a bit MIA on the whole blogging front for a while and so I thought I'd put into words some of the thoughts and reasonings that have been filling my brain.
A few months ago Post-Natal Depression was really getting me down, and my anxiety was at an all time high. I felt like I didn't have much motivation to do anything, especially things for myself. I did my 'duties' as a mother, a wife, a daughter and a sister, but I felt as though I was just plodding along; like I wasn't fully in control of my life and that I was just going with the flow. I lost interest in most things, things that I used to love doing, and even when I felt motivated to do something I feel as though my brain was stopping me from doing anything that might bring me joy.
My doctor diagnosed me with Generalised Anxiety Disorder and my medication was switched and increased. I have been having regular meetings with a Physcotherapist and have been making huge improvements. She is tackling my anxiety in two different ways and we're starting with Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (changing thoughts and behaviours). I have found it really, really helpful. I feel as though it's helping me to understand exactly where I am going wrong, even where I would previously see no obvious triggers or behaviour. As a result of the CBT and in particular 'Behaviour Experiements' I have been really challenging myself and in turn feeling proud and I think that is really helping with the depression.
Over the past couple of months I've been really focusing on myself; my happiness, who I am and what I want, what I like and what fulfils me. I have tried to live more in the moment, and be the parent I want to be. I haven't blogged because I've been spending time really focusing on my mental health and doing things that really fulfil me.
Ive always blogged as a hobby as I love writing, but I do feel that over previous months I was becoming a bit consumed with technology, social media and my blog and was using it to replace interactions and responsibilities in my 'real' life. It started to replace the side of me that loves being outdoors and exploring, that loves to interact with people I love face to face and that strives to make happy memories.
I've spent the last few months trying to focus on making my life more fulfilling, for myself, and for my family. I'm hoping to make some time every few days to blog as I have always found it theraputic and it's something that brings me joy. So keep your eye out for some more posts soon. I'll leave you with a few of my favourite memories from the past couple of weeks.